You can tell a lot about a man by the way he orders his drink. What you order is not as important as how you order it.
As I’ve mentioned before, I know my way around a bar pretty well — but you certainly don’t need to be a veteran drink-slinger to get this right.
On occassion, I find myself at Jade or maybe Merc, sitting with a friend or business partner, enjoying the atmosphere, maybe a Jack Single Barrel and Coke — and keeping an eye open for the next little lesson life might teach.
Anyway, I find that, generally, when a man goes up to the bar to order a drink, he will often fall into one of two categories:
Bartender: Hello Sir, what can I get you…
- Guy #1 (in a loud, clear voice): “Lag 16, neat.”
Bartender: Hello Sir, what can I get you…
- Guy #2: “Ahhhhh… hmmmm… let me sseee…,” (squints to read top shelf bottles from 30 feet away) “uhh, is that… ahhmmm…” (at this point, the bartender has that look on his face — and even the guy’s date is starting to look uncomfortable) “you know what? Let me just have a Bud Light.”
*blink*
Hilarious (and sad).
There is, of course, nothing wrong with a Bud Light. What’s wrong, is a man who doesn’t know he wants a Bud Light.
Women get the “I’m-not-sure-what-I-want-to-drink” pass. Men don’t.
Why not?
Because one of the most valuable characteristics a man possesses, is decisiveness.
Even if you’re only out with friends, decisiveness is a good thing to practice. That way, you don’t have to be conscious of it when it counts most (e.g., business outings, high-profile events).
What’s Wrong With Taking Time to Study the Bar’s Selection?
There are, of course, no hard and fast rules on this — much in the same way there are no hard and fast rules about wearing a snuggie in public. (…or at all.)
There are ways to look sharp, and there are ways to look ridiculous.
The ‘sharp’ way is as follows:
- Make a firm mental decision on the drink you are about to have, with the exact garnish you want (e.g., “Gin and Tonic, two limes”)*
- Catch the bartender or cocktail server’s eye and make the call, clearly and confidently.
Every good bartender should be able to instantly offer you a substitution, should you request something he or she doesn’t carry.
A bartender who greets your drink call with, “we don’t have that,” followed by a blank stare, clearly indicates what kind of bartender he is; what kind of place you’re in (and what kind of tip you should leave!).
As the customer, all you should have to do is call your drink, and let the service begin. Relax your eyes — there’s no need to try and inventory the bottles on the shelves. Let the bartender worry about offering an alternative that pleases you (same goes for cocktail servers).
So next time you’re out, even casually, remember — be decisive. Pre-select your drink in your head before catching the bartender or waitress’ eye.
Take a bar veteran’s word: a good, firm drink call often makes a difference in the level of service you get that night — and maybe even when you return.
About the Author: ST is Editor of WhataManKnows. Get more from ST on Twitter.
*Bonus: always call the alcohol first, then the mixer (i.e., never order a “cranberry juice and vodka”; order a “vodka, cranberry.” More drink ordering details here.)
