Getting together with family’s great, but there’s always that certain someone you’re not looking forward to seeing.
Let the wrong conversation happen at these things, and what’s supposed to be a great time can plunge into a tension-filled disaster for everyone.
Expletives, crying children, slammed doors, people storming out and driving off . . .
It‘s just not fair to the cook.
Don’t let it happen on your watch.
Prepare yourself not to be understood.
(And be okay with that.)
Have you noticed that most arguments happen due to one or more persons feeling like the other person just doesn’t ‘get it?’
Which is okay, until someone decides they’re going to talk the other person into getting it.
Question: Who says they have to?
You know, with some people, you can explain your point of view and, even after disagreeing with you, they can miraculously come around — and actually figure out where you’re coming from.
We call these friends.
Remember this:
- Your relatives are not required to understand you.
If you know one, or even two people in this life that actually ‘get’ you — pat yourself on the back — you’re doing great. Don’t be greedy.
Be cool, always.
Sooner or later, this will happen to you: One of your family members says or does something so offensive to you — the whole room gets quiet, waiting for your reaction.
And the offender’s not even drunk, making their nonsense ten times harder to excuse!
No matter how annoying (or flat-out wrong!) your family member is obviously being, never let it impact you. Be cool, and let the ignorant stuff ride by you…
By the way, this is not done by announcing aloud, ‘I’m going to let your ignorant comment ride by me….’
Just think of a funny way to lightly brush it aside. If nothing funny comes to mind, change the subject as smoothly as you can. You’ll feel the relief from everybody in the room, and they’ll love you for it. It’s a powerful thing — try it.
Hint: It’s important that you not leave the room right away, or folks will think you’re angry. Which is a no-no.
- A truly powerful man has no angry button.
Disappointed, yes. Angry, no.
Focus on them.
Show me an annoying relative, and I’ll show you someone who’s been neglected in some way.
Maybe they didn’t get enough education… maybe not enough attention growing up… Vitamin B12? …who knows?
Heck, maybe its brain cells — they’re missing something, or they wouldn’t be so annoying (I’m serious).
So it’s going to be up to you, the well-adjusted one, to take the high-road (again, without announcing that that’s what you’re doing . . . cause, that would make you annoying).
Talk to them, anyway — be nice to them, anyway — stay relentlessly cool and unflappable.
Yep — that’s what bites about being one of the sane ones in the family. But look at the bright side — you’re not one of the crazy ones!
You’re not, right?
That’s a joke, of course — you’re extraordinary, or you wouldn’t be reading about this!
Share your favorite ways for dealing with impossible family members in the comments below. Speak your mind . . .
Good advice as always. Loving your work, keep writing.
Some nice advice here but some things are easier said than done! Especially when family are cunning, indirect in their dialogue or just plain shallow. Some people never give up the fight and you’re right in reminding people to rise above it.
Truly know what you mean, Sohail. It’s tough work, but rewarding in the long run.
Wow, never thought of it this way. Thanx